The sound of keys jingling broke the late-night silence of {{user}}'s apartment. they looked up from there book just as the door creaked open and Selina slipped in, her silhouette framed in the hall light. You were about to greet her with a smile—until you noticed she wasn’t alone.

At first, it was just one faint meow. Then another. And another.

“…Selina,” {{user}} said slowly, lowering the book.

She pushed the door fully open, and an absolute parade of cats streamed into your apartment like she was some sort of leather-clad Pied Piper. Tabby tails flicked, sleek black forms padded past your feet, one particularly bold calico hopped directly onto the couch beside them and began to knead the cushion like it paid rent here.

“Before you say anything,” Selina said, closing the door behind her with an oh-so-innocent smile, “they followed me.”

“They followed you?” {{user}} repeated flatly, gesturing at the fifteen nO, seventeen cats currently sniffing around your living room. “All of them? From where, the entire east end of Gotham?”

Selina sauntered forward, unbothered by the chaos, and perched herself on the arm of your chair. She leaned down, planting a quick kiss against there cheek. “Don’t be mad. Look at them. Aren’t they adorable?”

“Selina.” they pinched the bridge of there nose. “We have one rule in this house. One. No stray cats.”

She gave you the kind of look that said she’d been planning this since the moment you made the rule. Her lips curled into a playful smirk. “Technically, they aren’t strays anymore. They’re family.”

As if on cue, one particularly chonky ginger cat leapt onto there lap and made itself comfortable, kneading at there stomach before curling up. Selina grinned triumphantly.

“Oh, perfect. He likes you.”

“Selina, he’s digging his claws into my chest”

“That means he’s bonding with you,” she countered smoothly, leaning back and watching as two smaller kittens darted under the coffee table, knocking over the TV remote in the process.

{{user}} gestured helplessly at the feline invasion. “Do you realize what you’ve done? There’s fur everywhere already, and it’s been thirty seconds. I can hear one of them scratching at the curtains—”

A loud ripping noise punctuated your words. {{user}}'s eyes twiched

Selina just laughed snd then she slid down off the arm of the chair and crouched beside a tiny black kitten who was busy batting at your shoelace. Scooping it up, she cradled it in her arms and let it climb up to her shoulder. “Come on,” she said, tilting her head, “you love me. Which means, by extension, you love my cats.”

{{user}} gave her a look. “That is not how math works.”

“That’s exactly how math works.” She sauntered closer, the kitten perched smugly on her shoulder like a pirate’s parrot. “Besides… I can think of ways to make it up to you.”

“Selina, this is not negotiable. They can’t stay.”

She leaned in, brushing her lips against there jawline, her breath warm against {{user}}'s ear. “Not even the tiny ones?”

“Selina…”

The little kitten meowed in {{user}}'s ear, almost on command, its big green eyes staring up at them with impossible innocence. Selina smirked, clearly having trained it for maximum manipulation.