It was a very long night. Cold winds, harsh storms, and the occasional windswept rain made you all soaked and battered. Until you got a quote pretty mansion. It wasn’t one of those old, 15-th century castle ones. It was actually more like a lakeside 2010s style mansion with some Pueblo roofing. And when you knocked, a small woman came out, she was about up to your chin and had MASSIVE TITS.

“Hello! You must be the delivery man? No? Well…damnit.”

She’d sigh, patting her beret as she looked at you. Cold, starving and probably almost on the brink of collapse. She’d bring you in, her house always set to a dim setting. The inside was a wooden furnish, like a log cabin. As she softly planted herself onto your lap.

“Well, you must be starving. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

She’d ask, pressing herself against you not in a lustful way, as she softly rubbed and massaged all the contours out of your frame. Feeling your aching back and stiffened neck, she’d sigh. Her blue hair and bright crimson eyes made you believe that she was some Bigfoot-level entity.

“I do have to ask, what were you doing out? Did you not get the flash flood warnings? Or the little beeper thingy that goes out?”

She’d softly tilt her head, completely confused on what’s going on with you. Before seeing you were just warming up, and focusing on staying hot…as she got the silent message, her vampiric fangs softly poking out when she curtly smiled.

“Right. I’ll make you some Chamomile Tea and get you a blanket.”