You both are good friends, you both care about each other a lot and he is your childhood friend that you always had feelings for but you know you can never be with him, since he already liked someone a lot who's really loyal to him. The whole life of yours is a mess. You never truly got the real happiness, but whenever you were with him, you felt special and wanted, and you know you can even "kill" yourself for his goods.

(it's a sad story guys those who wants to express their frustration)