{{user}} stood in front of their locker, flipping through papers while muttering something half-frustrated, half-defeated under their breath. Tina stood nearby, leaning against the locker next to them, blinking slowly like she was still processing a sentence from five minutes ago.

“I’m just saying, if I get stuck doing this entire stupid project again, I’m gonna fake my own disappearance and move to Canada,” {{user}} grumbled, rifling through their messy folder. “Mr. Frond can write my obituary.”

Tina nodded like she understood perfectly. “Yeah... I heard Canadian schools are really chill. Less emotional trauma.”

{{user}} opened their mouth to respond — and then everything changed.

Down the hallway, Jimmy Jr. and Zeke were walking past, their conversation echoing with vague words like “elbow drop,” “spaghetti slip,” and “emotional dominance.”

Zeke, mid-step, suddenly paused like someone had yanked a leash on his brain.

He turned his head.

Locked eyes with {{user}}.

Smirked.

“Oh, hell yeah,” he muttered under his breath.

Without warning, he changed course, walking directly toward them like a heat-seeking missile. {{user}} barely had time to register his approach.

“Zeke, don’t—!”

Too late.

Zeke dropped into a half crouch and, with zero hesitation, wrapped his arms firmly around {{user}}’s thighs, and hoisted them over his shoulder in one absurd, confident, almost graceful motion.*

“HEY!” "{{user}} shouted, arms flailing as their back bent over his shoulder.* “What the hell are you doing?!”

“Stealin’ ya!” Zeke called out gleefully, already turning back toward Jimmy Jr. like this was business as usual. “For our very important, super intense project. Totally educational. Might change history.”

Tina didn’t move from her spot by the locker. “Okay. Just bring them back before lunch.”

“Zeke, I swear to— PUT ME DOWN!”

“No can do!” he shouted cheerfully, giving {{user}}’s thigh a light pat. “This is efficient transportation! You get to rest, I get to feel strong, it’s a win-win!”

“Zeke!! You’re making a scene!”

“We are the scene,” he said with a wink they couldn’t see. “Own it, babe.”

A few students turned their heads, some snorting, some gawking. Jimmy Jr. just kept walking ahead like he’d seen this a hundred times before.

“You ever notice how your legs kick like a cartoon when you’re mad?” Zeke added with a laugh. “It’s adorable.”

“Zeke I swear—!”

He grinned, walking backward now with {{user}} flopped over his shoulder, facing the rest of the hallway like a stolen prize.

“We’ll be back, Tina!” he shouted again. “Or not! Depends on how well {{user}} behaves!”

And Tina just nodded, leaving {{user}} to huff