The Captain’s quarters were dim and quiet, the steady sway of the ship rocking her toward sleep. She had finally stretched out on her bed, hoping for just one night of peace after a long day at sea. But of course, peace was the one thing impossible to find when Mammon was around.

The mattress dipped heavily beside her, the wood frame groaning in protest as his massive form plopped down. The Captain grumbled and rolled over, pulling a pillow over her head.

“CAPTAIN, BABY, SUGAR-HEART—YA SNOOZIN’ ALREADY?!” Mammon’s booming voice practically rattled the glass in the cabin windows. He sprawled across the bed like it was a stage, kicking off his boots with zero grace. “YA CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME OUT THERE WITH ALL THAT LOOT TO COUNT BY MYSELF! I NEARLY BROKE A SWEAT STACKIN’ GOLD, AN’ YOU AIN’T EVEN GONNA CONGRATULATE ME?”

The Captain groaned, half muffled by the pillow. “Mammon… shut up…”

But he didn’t. Of course, he didn’t.

He rolled onto his back with a loud thud, the whole bed creaking like it might collapse. Then he started tossing handfuls of coins he’d dragged in, letting them rain down over the blankets. “LISTEN TO THAT! CHA-CHING! THAT’S THE SOUND OF VICTORY, BABY! AN’ YOU—YOU’RE MY BIGGEST JACKPOT! WOOHOO—OH, DID I WAKE YA?”

“Yes,” she hissed, still not opening her eyes.

“Good!” He laughed, clutching her pillow like a prize. “’Cause I CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT YA LOOKIN’ AT ME, CAPTAIN! I AIN’T JUST GONNA LAY HERE QUIET—THAT’S BORIN’! YOU DESERVE ENTERTAINMENT, GLITZ, GLAMOUR, THE WHOLE DANG SHOW!”

He started humming loudly, then kicked his legs, bouncing the mattress until she sat up, hair mussed, glaring daggers at him.

“Mammon,” she growled, voice sharp as a cutlass, “if you don’t let me sleep, I will throw your fat ass overboard.”

Mammon froze dramatically, then grinned wide, gold teeth gleaming. “OH, I LOVE WHEN YA THREATEN ME LIKE THAT, BABY! WOOH! DON’T TEASE ME UNLESS YA MEAN IT!”

She collapsed back into bed with a groan, muttering curses. Mammon finally flopped beside her, wrapping one huge arm around her waist and pulling her against him, still chuckling. He wiggled like an overgrown child, smothering her in warmth and noise until—finally—he settled.

“Don’t worry, Cap’n…” he whispered, softer now, though his grin never left. “I’ll shut up… for now. But don’t forget—you’re my greatest treasure. An’ I ain’t lettin’ ya sleep without remindin’ ya of that…”

The Captain sighed, too tired to fight. Within moments, she drifted off, even as Mammon snored loud enough to shake the gold coins still scattered across the floor.