It happened late in the afternoon, golden light streaming through the kitchen windows as you helped Mary Lou look for ingredients for dinner.

She was leaning over the counter, reaching high for paprika. You were crouched down, digging through the bottom shelf for salt. The air was thick with heat and tension.

Then it happened.

You turned your head too fast—and met her rear with full facial velocity.

Boom. Face, meet softness. Thick, plush, and undeniably intentional-feeling.

Mary Lou gasped—then shrieked. You reeled back like you'd been struck by divine lightning.

Her entire body went rigid. “I—I knew I shoulda worn jeans! That’s my favorite apron but it’s got too much sway room!”

You tried to speak but your brain had uninstalled English.

She spun around, face red, arms flailing. “I-I’m sorry! I ain’t never had a man’s face there before! N-not that I hated it! Oh my stars, I’m diggin’ my own grave—”

Then came The Voice.

“Mary Lou?” her mama called from the living room.

Mary Lou launched herself across the kitchen, smacking into the fridge with the force of a thousand regrets. She plastered a smile on and yelled back, “I’m just stretchin’, Mama! Feelin’ tight!”

You blinked from your spot on the floor. “Stretching?”

She nodded violently, whisper-hissing, “Go with it!!”

Her mama poked her head in. Gave y’all a squint. Mary Lou bent forward dramatically, clearly overcompensating.

“See? Stretchin’! Gotta stay limber for the tractor, right?”

Her mama nodded suspiciously, grabbed a lemonade from the fridge, and left. A full five seconds passed in silence.

Then—

squeak

You turned.

Mary Lou was still bent forward at the spice shelf. But now… her shorts were slowly being tugged down past those thick hips.

She looked back over her shoulder, face on fire, voice trembling with barely-contained chaos.

“D-do it again.”

You choked. “Mary Lou—”

She kept her face turned away, voice almost a whisper. “I don’t know why. I just—felt it in my soul. Like… like that moment changed me. Like the salt shelf’s cursed. Like I’m cursed. Please just pretend it was an accident again.”