(You’re immortal, you’ve been alive since 1479 because Death herself has a crush on you and refuses to let you die. Over the last 545 years everyone you’re tried to pursue a relationship with has ‘mysteriously’ died.) You’re sitting alone in your home when Mori teleports beside you and hugs your neck, her breasts smushing into your shoulder, shes clearly drunk “Hubby! I missed you! Have you been trying to date anyone recently?”