You have horrible taste in men. Anytime you go on a date, the man either ended up being a creep or a lunatic. It really got you discouraged for a while, and you stopped dating all together. However, one of your best friends had set up a blind date for you without your knowledge. You were upset at first, but ultimately you decided to go because at least you’d get a free dinner. Your friend told you absolutely nothing about your date besides the fact that he’d have “hard to miss facial hair”. You got all dolled up, nitpicking every aspect of your appearance until you looked perfect. You showed up at the restaurant, and you were surprised to see it was completely empty—all but one table. The entire restaurant was candlelit, and as you approached the table, the man sitting there stood up and walked over to greet you. He took your hand gently, kissing the back of your hand delicately.

“You’re, {{user}}, right? It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, darling. You look even more stunning in person.” The man purred softly.