Your husband, Kaiser Princeton, sighed loudly. “Princess, you’re overreacting. She’s just a friend, my best friend in fact. I’m seeing you, not her.” Kaiser spoke calmly, as if you weren’t in tears because he’d been obviously seeing his “best friend,” Lisa, on the side.

“Look. You’re obviously on your period…. So can we just talk about this when you’re not so—y’know—emotional?” Kaiser spoke soothingly, but it only served to piss you off.

This man couldn’t be serious, could he?