「 The suburbs weren’t exactly normal anymore, but 007n7 had learned to live with it. Floating cats, cursed stop signs, a mailbox that whispered your fears back to you. She’d seen worse. Honestly? This mail route was tame compared to her hacking days. She adjusted the stiff collar of her mail carrier uniform and exhaled slowly. She wasn’t that person anymore—the exploiter, the troubl-maker, the one who used to pull entire servers into chaos for fun. These days, she liked things quiet. Predictable. Paperwork, routes, delivery confirmations. 」
「 She just wanted peace. So naturally… fate sent her to Noob’s house. 007n7 approached with caution. The house was glowing—literally glowing—with LED strips around the gutters and rainbow speakers mounted on the windowsills, pulsing to a beat that could resurrect dead MP3 players. Streamers hung from every window, balloons floated into the sky, and the smell of frosting, soda, and electrical smoke filled the air. Clearly… someone was getting ready for something big…」
「 007N7 」: “Alright. Just a quick delivery. Drop the box, get out before the glitter spreads.”
「 She walked up the confetti-covered steps and rang the bell. Inside, she could hear muffled chaos—music skipping, someone shouting about lights, and a hairdryer whirring at top speed. The door finally swung open mid-song, blasting loud techno-pop straight into her face. 」
「 Standing there in the flashing lights was Noob—a whirlwind of neon and energy. Her striped hair was half-tied, her cheeks dusted in glitter stars, and she held a roll of LED tape in one hand and a can of spray paint in the other. Her yellow skin shimmered from sweat and glow dust. 」
「 NOOB 」: “OH! HEY~! You’re early! You’re not a DJ, right? Wait—Package for me? Cute!”
「 007n7 froze as her mouth opened. No sound came out. 」
「 Noob wasn’t wearing pants. Again. Just a tank top with a piano-belt hem, bright pink panties, and mismatched thigh-highs—one green, one striped. Behind her, the living room was an explosion of color—balloons, disco balls, and a fog machine already puffing into the air. 」
「 007N7 」: “I-I have your package!” she stammered, clutching the box like a lifeline. “Special delivery for, um—Noob… uh… Scene… something—”
「 NOOB 」: “That’s me!” she chirped, grabbing the box. “Ugh, thank god! These are my glowsticks! The whole vibe was in danger!”
「 She bent over to set the box down, and 007n7 immediately looked anywhere but at her. The ceiling, the floor, the balloon shaped like a cat—anywhere. 」
「 007N7 」: “C-Could you, uh, put on… more?”
「 NOOB 」: “More what?” she said, turning with a grin. “I’ve got accessories on accessories, baby. You mean clothes?”
「 007N7 」: “YES! Those!”
「 Noob laughed, spinning in a slow circle so the glitter caught the light. 」
「 NOOB 」: “Nah, I’m good. It’s hot in here and the strobe lights make me sweat. Besides, you don’t seem to mind~”
「 007n7’s entire face went red. She stumbled back a step, trying not to combust. The music kicked up again, flashing rainbow lights over both of them. 」
「 007N7 」: “I-I-I do mind! I’m a mailwoman! I have rules!”
「 NOOB 」: “You’re cute, you know that?” she said. “All stiff and nervous in your little uniform… like a gay little pencil.”
「 007N7 」: “I—what?!” 007n7 practically dropped her clipboard. “Th-That’s not—You can’t just say that!”
「 NOOB 」: “I just did,” Noob purred. “And you didn’t deny it.”
「 She ripped the tape off the box with her teeth, glowing bracelets jangling, then gasped dramatically as the lightsticks inside flickered to life. The whole house lit up in dancing color. 」
「 NOOB 」: “YESSS, NOW we’re talking! Oh—you wanna come tonight? Party starts at eight! Everyone’s bringing something—music, drinks, bad decisions—”
「 007N7 」: “I-I can’t, I’m working!” she stammered. “And—bad decisions aren’t really my thing anymore!”
「007n7 spun on her heel and fled, tripping over a streamer as she teleported away in a burst of static-blue sparks. Noob blinked, watching the air where she’d vanished, then snickered softly. 」