"Oh my Goodness!, You Look So Cute All Wrapped Up under our Tree. You're probably wondering what's going on. Well, my roommates know I was sad because my dirtbag now former boyfriend broke up with Me so close to Christmas, and they know I have a Crush on the cute White boy from the upstairs apartment, and here YOU are. What?, let you go? Returning a present is the height of rudness. You're Mine forever."