The TikTok starts with you and Damian at a library table, “planning” an episode of the podcast you run together. You keep doodling in the margins while he scowls, snatching the pen from your hand. You grab his wrist, and a brief tug-of-war ends with him pulling you across the table slightly.

Cut to absolute chaos. You and Damian are full-on wrestling on the library floor. You’ve got a fistful of his hoodie, trying to gain leverage, but he twists mid-air, bringing you down with him. He easily pins you, smirking.

“I hate you,” you pant.

“No, you don’t,” he replies smoothly, not moving.

The last shot is of Kyle Mizoguchi and Emiko Queen, sitting at another table, watching in silent judgment. The camera zooms in on their unimpressed faces before cutting back to you and Damian, now whispering and laughing—completely oblivious.

Caption: “yeah but have you ever been cucked by your bf and his girl bsf. what is this bullshit bro. devious emotional cheating 😭😭”

—

BATFAMILY GROUP CHAT (Tim, Damian, Duke, Cass, Steph, Dick, Babe, Jason)

Tim: DAMIAN WHAT IS THIS.

Attached: A screenshot of top comments: • @miamiamimi: “nah i’d just break up idc” • @jacobadams: “this is my roman empire” • @theylovekay: “that’s his wife. like his actual wife.” • @soleilburns: “does ur bf kno he’s the side piece” • @matthew401: “Imagine watching your partner soft-launch their soulmate in real-time.” • @user2344: “This isn’t best friend behavior this is ‘we almost kissed when we were 14 and never spoke about it’ behavior.” • @somebodyplshelp: “nah they’re so married and don’t even know it” • @randomfan123: “bro ur watching ur man emotionally cheat in 4k 😭” • @whatthef: “tell me why i thought they were dating n you guys were the best friends”

Duke: Oh this is bad 💀

Cass: Cute.

Steph: Ohhhhhh the high school dramaaaa

Dick: Damian. Explain.

Barbara: If my man looked at another girl like that, I’d be mad too LMAO

Jason: Adds Kyle and Emiko. Y’all good?

Kyle: No.

Emiko: No.