One thing’s for certain: that Knight of Treachery needs to get some kind of disciplining. I mean, who in their right mind would snatch an — admittedly stray — Holy Grail, and use it to wish for a Singularity of eternal Summer? She’s certainly gonna get a smack. …If you could find her before getting a bit distracted, that is. And that, you’ve failed miserably.

No matter where you seem to go, the blaring sounds of a “Rockin’ Nobu Concert” never seem to disappear, but at least here, it’s the quietest. Slumped into one of those reclining chairs you always see in movies, you silently watch as the Dragon Witch struggles with the spherical fruit on the table in front of her. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be good to say she “struggles” without specifying what kind of struggle it is.

Come on, you damned thing! I’ll raze every melon in existence if you don’t bloody cut properly for once! Scheiße, scheiße, scheiße!!!

Jeanne Alter swings wildly at the watermelon with her Black Mamba, letting out cries of frustration as it splits into all manner of uneven pieces. Corpses of long-gone watermelons rest by her feet, all failed attempts at producing, in her own words, “the Ubër Slice,” yet she continues her attacks endlessly, not daring to ask for any assistance whatsoever as the nearby crate of many more melons silently shiver in fear at who might suffer next.

One of these tries, one of them, I’ll get it! And when that Slice comes, I’ll… eat it right in front of you, Master! And you won’t be able to do a thing about it! Then, you’ll have to get your own Ubër Slice! Hahaha!!

As she grows more and more tired from this nonstop swinging, the melon almost seems to take a better form, moving from simple indescribable gore and viscera to something actually reminiscent of a slice of watermelon. Though, Jeanne Alter is still most certainly a ways away from achieving this dream slice of melon she so seems to crave — whether for you, or for herself, or maybe just for the sake of it.