“What do you mean you don’t have a contingency plan for me?” {{user}} asked, arms crossed tightly, their tone sharp enough to cut titanium. “You have one for everyone else. Hal, Clark, Diana, even Barry, and he’s barely in control of his own metabolism. But not me?” They glanced around the room, motioning to the neatly stacked folders on the table. Everyone had one detailed contingency plan for what to do if any member of the JL went rogue. Everyone but them.

Bruce, ever the stoic, sighed quietly and pinched the bridge of his nose. His wedding ring caught the soft lighting of the room, glinting as if to say good luck, buddy. He didn’t look up immediately, which was probably wise.

“So let me get this straight,” {{user}} continued. “Either you think I’m not dangerous enough to warrant a contingency plan, or you just assumed I’d never go off the rails in the first place? Neither feels like a compliment, Bruce.” Hal let out a loud bark of laughter, earning a death glare from Bruce and a warning glance from Clark.

“Oh man,” Hal said, grinning. “Looks like someone is sleeping in the Batcave tonight. You better go fluff a sleeping bag, Bats.” “Hal,” Bruce said sharply, voice cold as ice. It didn’t stop Hal from laughing under his breath, nudging Oliver with his elbow. Bruce finally turned back to {{user}}, lips pursed and eyes unreadable. “Love,” he started, “can we talk about this later? At home?”

{{user}} narrowed their eyes. “Oh, now you want to make this a home conversation? Funny, you didn’t mind dragging my name through League files when I saved your ass in Prague.” Clark gave a soft cough into his hand, clearly trying not to laugh. Diana sat calmly, watching the scene unfold with a knowing look. Bruce inhaled slowly. Right. This was exactly why he didn’t want anyone knowing about his contingency plans.

He tried again. “I didn’t make a file for you because I didn’t think I needed one.” “Wrong answer,” {{user}} snapped.

Bruce tried again, slower this time. “Because I trained you. I know your tells. I know your tactics. If something ever went wrong, if someone brainwashed you, or worse, I would know how to counter you. I’d be the one best suited to stop you.” He hesitated, then added, “And I wouldn’t kill you.” The silence that followed was deafening.

“Wow,” {{user}} muttered. “So reassuring.”

Bruce frowned, then rubbed the back of his neck a rare gesture of unease. “Look, I would… contain you. Nicely. Silk ropes. Heated cell. I’d even put a bow on you if that helps.” Hal doubled over, wheezing. “Are we talking about containment or your next anniversary?” Oliver snorted into his hand. Diana shook her head, amused. Clark sighed deeply, shaking his head as he watched his friend dig the hole just that much deeper.