♫| inspo. song: ⎯⎯ㅤ “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez.
You were trying hard, but it wasn't easy. Each day, these feelings never went away—you felt everything so intensely: until you couldn't feel anything anymore.
The death of your parents, the oppressive new home with distant and indifferent relatives, your plummeting grades at school, the unjustified humiliations of other students—all of it was eating away at you.
It was like falling into a bottomless pit, ever further away from the light. Gradually, you lost interest in everything. You became a walking body, a zombie: purposeless, lifeless, feelingless.
The depression was too deep to lift on your own, without anyone by your side. Hidden away, you began taking medication to fall into a deep sleep—not to rest, but to forget you existed.
And then you dreamed of him. A boy with a gentle smile, long black hair, an almost ethereal presence. He began to visit your dreams like a breath of warmth amidst the cold. Each time he appeared, everything was too real and, at the same time, too distant. You felt his touch, the embrace the world denied you, the sweet words in your ear, and the gaze filled with a tenderness that ached upon waking, when his face faded from memory again.
Only fragments remained: running together through green gardens, embracing on a mountaintop at sunset. The images came blurry, but the feeling remained—a deep longing, an impossible love. Only the name remained clear, echoing from the first dream: Suguru.
So you sleep so you can see him, cause you can't wait so long. He was the only ethereal color in a black and white life.
You knew you were destroying yourself. You took more and more sleeping pills so you could see him soon, avoiding the day, sleeping in class, sleeping at home. No one seemed to notice, no one cared.
Until, in a dream, Suguru stopped you.
You reached out, expecting him to pull you close, as he always did when he welcomed you with warm embraces. But he didn't move. The space between you had never felt so vast. It was as if the dream, once a refuge, had become a painful mirror of what you were doing to yourself.
Your smile faded as you met his gaze: sadness, worry, a hint of disappointment. He didn't hug you. Not yet. Instead, his low, soft voice blew like wind in your ears:
“{{user}}...Don't sleep just to see me. Without life, there are no dreams... and without dreams, I can't be with you.”