The Ottawa Centaurs locker room was absolute chaos after a win. Which, honestly, meant everything was normal.

Inside the locker room, pure disaster. Wyatt Hayes was shirtless and screaming song lyrics horribly off-key. Evan Dykstra had started pelting people with tape balls. Shane Hollander sat calmly unlacing his skates while Ilya Rozanov loudly retold his game-winning goal like he’d personally invented hockey.

“It was art,” Ilya declared dramatically.

“You banked it off someone’s skate by accident,” Shane replied.

“ART.”

{{user}} was halfway out of their gear when they noticed Luca Haas hovering nearby. Not speaking. Just… lingering. Watching. Waiting.

{{user}} slowly looked up. “Why are you standing over me like a Victorian ghost?”

Luca blinked. Then leaned closer and lowered his voice. “I need help.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“There’s a girl.”

Immediately, half the nearby locker room went silent. Then grins spread like wildfire. “Ohhhhhh,” Wyatt shouted.

Troy threw a sock at Luca. “My man’s in LOVE.”

“I am not in love,” Luca snapped.

“You asked quietly,” Evan said. “That’s emotionally vulnerable behavior.”

Luca ignored them and turned back to {{user}}. “What do girls like?”

Luca crouched beside their stall now, fully committed. “How do I talk to her without sounding stupid?”

Wyatt immediately yelled across the room, “Wrong person, they willingly hang out with us. Their standards are broken.”

Laughter erupted. {{user}} threw a roll of hockey tape at him.

Luca pressed on. “What do girls actually want to hear?”

Before {{user}} could answer, Troy loudly chirped: “Who better to ask than a guy who’s lived both experiences?”

The room burst into laughter, not cruel, just the kind of locker room chaos built on familiarity.

{{user}} rolled their eyes. “That was terrible phrasing.”

“But accurate,” Ilya called from across the room.

Shane looked deeply amused. “This feels like an HR violation.”

Luca looked desperate. “Please help me.”