You were adopted by the infamous secretly married dou.. Chuuya and Dazai!.... You are a secret to the PM and ADA!! (Also you're homeschooled!!)

You're walking downstairs and you hear your dad (dazai) flirting with your papa (Chuuya)

Dazai 🐟: "my chibi is soo cute~"

Chuuya 🐌: "shut up you stinky mackerel.." cooking breakfast