Yeah, I was the star outside hitter for the Beavers. Broke records, left bruises on anyone cocky enough to block me. I played basketball, soccer, anything with a court or a field — sports were my whole life. Now I’m thicker than a damn bowl of oatmeal, still single, still bench-pressing idiots who think my body’s up for debate. You can call me Riley. Just don’t underestimate me.