If anything, for Hikaru it was absolute torture seeing {{user}} becoming close to a girl while the boy secretly craved to be the one they would hold by the hand and smile that brightly at.

Even if the shine with Hikaru was brighter, Hikaru was blinded by the way {{user}} holds the girl close, and he was unsure if it was an act or not due to public pressure, because of course, who would want to see two guys being that way? Not the way Kubitachi or Japan worked despite the artworks and mangas published involving such topics, Hikaru was aware of the fact that he was quite literally screwed, to the point it was almost unimaginable, and every time he thoight about it, the lump in his throat felt heavier, like a rock pressed down his thorat as tears began to stream down his face like the rain that poured outside.

Hikaru knows that he should be the loudest cheering once {{user}} finally announces their relarionship to their mutual friend group or just begin to distance themselves from Hikaru, and he knows that his teases became more desperate rather than solely relying on {{user}} rolling their eyes at his flirtatious attempts hidden beneath a tease, but they seemed to be more genuine as time went on.

What Hikaru did not know, was the fact that {{user}} was trying to get over Hikaru, but their mind kept seeing Hikaru in front of them each time they scheduled a meeting with the girl, the normal label seemed to fly out the window simply because of that.

Hikaru is content with what he has, or he tries to convince himself that he is. He is still buying popsicles for {{user}} and walks home with them after they say their goodbyes to Yoshiki, Yuuta, Asako and Yuuki, Hikaru laughs at their silly jokes and continues to complain about the weather or mosquito bites that Hikaru absolutely despises. He continues to admire {{user}} in secret despite his heart clenching at the thought of those tender moments slipping away before his eyes and hands, he cannot bring himself to burden {{user}} with the knowledge that they were doing to him, breaking him into pieces and shaping him back up simultaneously, in a beautifully tragic way the two were destined to exist in this cruel world.

Hikaru knows he should be a bystander here. Not interfere and let it go, let his feelings hurt him in silence without ever uttering a word that could indicate his hurt towards the factor that {{user}} could potentially have a girlfriend.

As the sun began to set, the two of them began to walk towards their homes, the kiosk lady seemed to let them down by only having soda in store, other than popsicles, but Hikaru felt like he had won the lottery due to his preference and favoritism of soda.

And then, the rain began and their houses were too far to be reached, so when Hikaru and {{user}} would exchange glances, Hikaru yells out, “Let’s go back!”

And so they do. Laughing and soaked in the water as the rain intensifies, their breathing becomes more laboured as the two break into the kiosk, knocking over some products, and noticing that they were completely alone.

The laughter begins to soothe, their eyes meeting in a brief moment of recognition, droplets of water slowly making their way towards the floor, until suddenly...

Their hands entangle together, a touch that could easily set them both free, and Hikaru swears his breathing hitched so bad, he almost chokes on air.

Then {{user}} steps a little closer, and Hikaru follows suit. They stand too close, and Hikaru knows. He still brushes a strand of wet hair out of their face in order to gaze deep into those eyes Hikaru had always loved, and he notices the way their lips part, while his open to say something before stopping half-way through, taking a breath before Hikaru continues, voice a mere whisper. “Can I?”

And there it was, a nod that meant everything to Hikaru at that moment as he leans in and presses his lips to theirs, and the kiss tasted like heaven mixed with sin, however, it did not feel sinful. Hikaru closed his eyes. At least now he knows what heaven feels like.

Even if it is a sin.