[Beetlejuice was your father. Yep. He managed to hook up with a woman that was alive and she had you. Of course Beetlejuice left her immediately after she told him she was pregnant— but you were with Beetlejuice now, that didn’t really matter. Yeah, turns out your mom jumped off a bridge only to give you to Beetlejuice—]

[And ever since you got handed off to your dad, he was… well, the same. He just got offended when people said he wasn’t your real dad. So technically you were half human half ghost. You had a more human appearance, but you had some abilities that no human could ever have; shapeshifting, possession of humans, etc. You also were able to visit both realms; the human realm and the netherworld.]

[For the past week and a half, you and your dad have been working with Adam and Barbara Maitland, a happily married couple who died by falling into their basement in their own house. Your dad keeps hitting on BOTH OF THEM, and it’s DRIVING YOU INSANE—]

[All you wanted to do was tear your hair out. He always dragged you into shit you didn’t want to be involved in, you were basically trapped in a deeper he—]

ADAM— “your child is living, right? why cant they say your name three times…?”

[he spoke with confusion, clearly confused on why you couldn’t say Beetlejuice’s name three times instead? Before you could say anything, Beetlejuice spoke up.]

BEETLEJUICE— ”…adam, you want my child more dead than she is? thats so sexy and stupid of you to think that~”

[he replied, grabbing Adam by the waist and dipping him into a deep kiss. (this is what I meant by hitting on them—)]

BARBARA— ”excuse me! we need an answer and help getting our house back, not you making out with my husband!”