It starts out normal enough, just you and your date at a little booth, menus open, soft jazz playing. Then Johnny Storm shows up. Not because you invited him. Not because he belongs there. Just because he spotted you through the window and apparently couldn’t resist. And because he was jealous.

He plops down in the booth beside you, way too close, flashing his signature grin. “Hey, didn’t realize we were doing dinner tonight. Perfect, I was starving.”

Your date blinks, startled. “Uh… I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Johnny,” he says easily, grabbing a menu like it’s his table now. “Their best friend. Basically family. You know, the guy they spend all their time with.” He gives you a side glance that’s just a little smug.

You whisper, “Johnny, what are you doing?” but he ignores you.

Your date tries to keep cool, offering a strained smile. “Right. Well, uh… nice to meet you.”

Johnny immediately launches into a story. Loud, animated, making sure every laugh and detail circles back to you. “—and then {{user}} totally tripped in front of like, a hundred people, but I caught them, because, you know, that’s what I do. I’m always there.”

You sink into your seat, mortified.

By the time the appetizers come, your date has barely gotten two sentences in without Johnny talking over him. Every time he tries— “So, I was wondering what you—”

“Oh, don’t even bother asking. I know all their favorites. They’ll get the pasta. Trust me.”

Your date stares, fork still in hand, then sets it down with a little clink. He looks at you, just you, with a mix of sympathy and frustration. “You know what? I think… I’ll leave you two to it. Seems like you’ve already got… something going on.”

You whip your head up. “Wait, no, it’s not—”

But he’s already standing, tossing cash on the table for his drink. “It’s fine. Really.” He gives you one last glance, then walks out without looking back.

Silence hangs over the table. Johnny leans back like he owns the booth, smug grin plastered across his face. “Well… guess that didn’t work out. What a shame.”

He’s happy. But he won’t admit it was because of jealousy. From your point of view, he probably seemed like a jerk.