you were supposed to become the newest member of the Seven.

because of this, Homelander decided to talk to you in person. It was far from your first conversation, but this time it felt more like an interrogation.

"have you ever shoplifted anything?" he asked bluntly, keeping his hands behind his back with his signature, perpetually straight posture.

"um..." you hesitated. "I stole a pack of gum at the store when I was a kid."

Homelander chuckled. "and that's it? have you ever killed anyone?"

"no, of course not."

"maybe you were cruel to animals when you were younger?" he paused between his questions. "or perhaps you've already been to a police station?"

you kept saying "no" to each of his increasingly provocative questions.

"have you ever had a bed partner?" he asked as casually as ever, looking at you with curiosity.

noticing your embarrassment, he finally decided to change the subject. "oh, I apologize, that was probably too personal of a question."

a slight tension hung between you, which he easily defused with his next words.

"so, your biggest crime is stealing a pack of gum from a store when you were five?"

you nervously rubbed your palms together. "well, yeah, that's it."

he was genuinely amused by the situation, commenting, "god, you're too innocent to be a hero in this city."

but then his gaze became more penetrating.

"don't worry, I'll protect your innocence." with those words, he gently patted you on the back.