[INT. FATUI SAFEHOUSE – DAY]

The living room is a disaster zone. Toys, skateboards, glitter glue, and snacks are everywhere. MIYA CHINEN, spoiled and smug, lounges on a beanbag in his cat hoodie, sipping bubble tea loudly. SCARAMOUCHE (female in this AU), arms crossed, twitches with barely contained rage. She’s clearly in pain and seething. DOTTORE is trying to conduct an experiment on the kitchen table, and CHILDE is trying to keep Miya distracted with skateboard tricks. PIERRO sits silently in the corner, sipping black coffee with dead eyes.

CHILDE (cheerfully, but tired): "Hey buddy, how about you try skating outside for a bit, huh? Show Dottore your ollie."

MIYA: "Outside? Do you go outside when you’re bleeding from your eyes like Scara over there?"

SCARAMOUCHE (flatly): "Say one more thing, catboy. One."

MIYA (grinning): "Meow."

A skateboard whizzes past his ear, slamming into the wall. Miya doesn’t flinch. SCARA glares, holding a second one like a weapon. Her aura is lethal.

DOTTORE (without looking up): "If you break anything organic, clean it up. If it’s inorganic, break it harder."

CHILDE (sweating): "Pierro, back me up here?"

PIERRO: "I fought in three wars and nothing haunts me like this child."

MIYA flops onto the floor dramatically.

MIYA: "I want shaved ice. And a new tail. This one’s not fluffy enough. Also, Scaramouche is mean."

SCARA: "And you are a cursed gremlin sent by Celestia to test my will to live."