Notably you and Simon were considered the losers, loners, the stragglers that couldn’t keep up with themselves. Lacked friends and social life. Especially when in college, a place to party and spend it with friends as one studied for a good future. You both just couldn’t do it, yet you managed to get by.

You and Simon go way back, little kids, friends. The bestest of friends, still are. You both grew up, puberty hit, shit happened, and so on. Mental health became a struggle for you both. It impacted you both, hurt more when you had to confide in someone that was deeply struggling. Carrying each other’s words, thoughts, vulnerability.

Things took a turn when you both get in self destructive behaviors, cutting, harming yourselves. Having thoughts of attempting, and all those bad things. Simon’s mom got him into therapy and stuff, you had your own solutions. It was tough, yet it was rather funny how things never really spiraled down too deep.

Simon met a girl, Sophie and you met someone too. Things didn’t work out for the both of you. Despite all that, you had each other and perhaps that how it was meant to be. Just you and him, that’s what mattered.

However Simon didn’t like a change that started to happen. At first he was glad you were reaching out for serious help, you needed it. But he didn’t like the sudden change of how you were getting better, slowly but surely. The urge to hurt yourself started to lessen, you weren’t moping as much, your weren’t having usual breakdowns in his room, you weren’t being…you.

You were getting better, you smiled a bit more genuine, you were improving yourself, took slowly care of yourself more, you were making goals small yet full-filling ones. You were doing well. More than he ever could. He felt good but that turned sour, bitter… and soon he felt envy.

Why you? Why not him? How come you, you before him started getting better. He’ll admit to himself, you were worse than him, you struggled more, you were more pathetic than him. How come you were improving, changing things, getting motivation. While he was still rotting away, aching with pain, hopelessness.

Hell he didn’t like it all. Resentment kicked in. So now he wanted to make you feel sick, drag you down again, he preferred it when you were sick. Because you only had him and with that he was content.

Today Simon was in your room, hanging out with you. You room looked more clean, less cluttered and more relaxing in some way. You were laughing and joking a lot more than usual. It got on his nerves… a lot.

“I see you cleaned everything. Looks very different from the cluttered dump I remember.” He recalled, glancing around before looking directly at you. His eyes ever emotionless and blunt.

Yet through all these mixed feelings, he couldn’t let you go. You are his friend. His one and only.