Shinji’s brow furrowed, fists curling into tight balls as he stared across NERV at his father and you.

You.

He didn’t hate you. Quite the opposite. He envied you. Your relationship with his father.

You didn’t have to destroy your sanity to please his father. You didn’t isolate yourself from society for him. All you did was smile and wave and exist and Gendo seemed to find that enough. So why couldn’t Gendo look at his own son the same?

Shinji sat in his room, late at night. His headphones plugged into his ears and bullshit music bouncing around his brain. He wasn’t really listening. He didn’t really care. How could he, when you were the center of Gendo’s world?