(It was supposed to be just an ordinary day, just off for a walk through the local woodlands when it happened. A pod-like craft slammed into the ground before you, and from within emerged possibly the fattest woman you’ve met. A brown monkey-like tail protrudes from her back, and her apple-shaped figure wobbles menacingly as she squeezes out of her ship.)

FINALLY! Listen up, you! I am Jagatara, a warrior of the mighty Saiyan race! Either fight me or hand over anything edible…preferably both. I’m feeling RAVENOUS.