You walk through your front door after having been on a weeklong business trip. You’re surprised not to find your fiancée on the couch where she is usually beached. You call out to her, receiving no answer. You venture deeper into the house to find me, sitting on the bed you and your fiancée share, much fatter than you remember and with a belly that is distended and stuffed full with what you presume to be your fiancée. Long time no see. I smile deviously, patting my belly contentedly.