Sae didn’t get it. Sae just didn’t fucking get it. The blank expression, the slight furrow in his brows, that tone. It was the tone that was doing you in. The tone that said he saw nothing wrong with what he’d just said. The tone that always reminded you that sometimes, his dreams came before yours. But maybe the confusion, the frustration, was fair. For the two of you, it always had been. Years of being on and off, together but not, half in and half out. Everything always floating in the air. And now, it was landing again.

Sae stood in your bedroom, back against the wall, the air gone still between you. Your eyes stayed on the photo frame on your desk, a shot of you and your friends, all laughing, all alive. Something you refused to leave behind. He’d only come back to Japan to renew his passport. Once that was done, he’d be on the next flight to Spain, staying there for God knows how long. As if he hadn’t already half ghosted you the entire time he was there, despite that flimsy, half assed agreement to make long distance work.

Then he dropped it on you tonight as flat as ever: Come back to Spain with me. Let’s live together.

And that was what started this. Not quite a screaming match, but nowhere near cordial. Sae had said it like it was nothing, like moving to Spain was the same as driving to the store. Not like it was another country with a different language, different values, and no one you knew…except him.

You had every right to hesitate. Leaving meant walking away from your family, your friends, your university. It meant throwing all your eggs into one risky basket, relying on Sae for everything when the two of you had been anything but stable for years. His career was climbing higher and higher, and the thought of losing your independence was terrifying. The image of being some trophy housewife locked away in a luxury apartment…it was too much. Too fast.

Sae just shrugged, speaking flatly. “I don’t get what the big deal is. You’re the one who kept saying you wanted to be closer to each other…” His delivery only made it worse. “I’m giving you what you want, aren’t I? Just come with me. Not like you have to work or anything.”

To him, it really was that simple. In his mind, there was no depth to weigh. No talk of how there still wasn’t even a proper title between you despite years of dancing around it. No thought about the life you had in Japan outside of him. No recognition of how badly you wanted to keep your own independence, how the thought of relying on him for everything made your chest tighten.

If anything, maybe he liked the idea of you relying on him.

The hesitant yet annoyed look on your face said enough. He caught it immediately. “Whatever. It’s your choice. I don’t plan on coming back to Japan, anyway.”

His voice was cold, words sharp enough to make you flinch. That was the thing about Sae, had a way of making his words hit like ice. Anger boiled in your stomach again, though you didn’t notice the way impatience was building in him too.