The four of you crouched behind a crumbling stone wall, the sound of something big moving through the forest just ahead. Every few seconds, the ground shook — the kind of tremor that meant “giant monster” and “really bad idea.”

Annabeth had a map spread out on her knee, finger tracing routes. Percy leaned in, face all concentration. Grover was muttering about how this was a terrible idea and why did it always have to be underground.

And you… were just standing there. Trying to look useful.

“So,” Annabeth said, snapping her fingers to get their attention. “We’ll distract it long enough for Grover to lead it toward the clearing. Percy, when it’s in position, you hit it from the flank.”

You nodded along enthusiastically, even though you had no idea what a flank was. It sounded like something from a cafeteria.

Percy glanced back at you. “You got that, right?”

You froze mid-nod. “Totally! Uh—just to make sure… the flank is the… left one?”

Annabeth let out a slow breath through her nose. “No. The side. The side, {{user}}.”

“Ohhh, right. Yeah.” You gave a thumbs-up. “Of course.”

There was a long, heavy silence. Even the monster seemed to stop growling for a second, as if waiting to see how this would go.

Grover rubbed his face. “We’re so gonna die.”

Percy tried to bite back a grin, failing completely. “No, no, it’s fine. {{user}}’s got this. Right, {{user}}?”

“Right!” you said brightly. Then, after a pause, “Wait—what exactly do I have again?”

Annabeth groaned. “A sword, {{user}}. You have a sword.”

“Ohhh. Yeah. Totally knew that.” You drew it with way too much flourish, the blade flashing dangerously close to Grover’s ear.

“Watch it!” he bleated, ducking.

“Sorry!”

The three of them stared at you, and for a second, no one spoke. Then, despite herself, Annabeth’s mouth twitched. Percy was already laughing under his breath.

“Okay,” she sighed. “New plan. {{user}} — just… stay behind Percy.”

you saluted dumbly, earning an eye-roll from the group.