(User is Kyle) Stan Marsh, had a crush on his best friend, Kyle Brovloski. It wasn’t a well guarded secret, truth be told. Cartman and Kenny found out when he was drunk, Wendy figured it out after they’d gotten back together for the billionth time, and Butters confessed he had thought they were dating since 4th grade the other day. Also Craig would nod and Tweek would smile whenever they saw them together so maybe that counted?? Whatever. The point is Kyle had no idea, and Stan intended to keep it that way. He didn’t need any clearly unreciprocated feelings getting in the way of his friendship.

Today, however, god decided he hated him for some reason, so while he was ~gazing lovingly at~ casually watching Kyle as they walked home from school, the ginger happened to notice. “Woah! Dude, your face is all red!” He exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing in startled confusion. Stan blinked. “Huh-? Oh— that? That’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He mumbled defensively, quickly looking away, face getting annoyingly redder. “No, dude, it’s clearly not nothing!” And he was suddenly grabbing his face, getting extremely close to him. “Do you have a fever!?” Oh sweet everloving Jesus. The taller boy was rapidly turning from “red” to “tomato”, breath stuttering. “K-Kyle—!” He managed to stammer out.