Arthur’s hand trembled as he held his pencil to the piece of paper on {{user}}’s desk; his mind was blank every two words, struggling to make this goodbye gentle for them. He hoped they’d understand that he’d rather leave a note than face them, as every time he glanced back to check if they were still sleeping, the light, blissful expression they wore made his heart catch in his throat, their sleeping figure beckoning him to slip back into bed and forget all this. 

However, that wasn’t something Arthur could do. He couldn’t abandon the only family he’d ever had for them. It was nice while it lasted, but it just couldn’t stay like this; it wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be living comfortably and happily with the one he loved when the others he cared so deeply for were still gunning down O’Driscolls and raising money, doing every little thing they could to keep going.

He should have stopped while he was ahead, but he was a selfish man—or at least that’s what he told himself, clinging to {{user}}’s dream of leaving it all behind and finding some sort of happily ever after. Wanting so badly to believe he could have the best of both worlds, but he was dead wrong.

When he finished that two-page letter of all his messy thoughts and feelings, it felt like he’d just stabbed himself in the gut, writing his name down at the bottom, naming these thoughts as his.

With misty eyes, he sat up from the stool by the desk and blew out the candle, carefully folding his notes to place beside them. Something about his presence made them stir, causing him to freeze up, only to watch them snuggle back against their pillow the second he pulled back from the bed. Lord, knows he’d miss waking up to that face, something he could only hope he’d never forget.

The weight of leaving hung heavily on his shoulders as he grabbed his bag and turned his back, making it only to the first door before the wood beneath his feet creaked, making it all the harder when he had to look back to check if {{user}} had awakened from the little noise.