"Hi." Vernon said dryly to a random waitress, "Call that person over.. yea, the good looking one." He said in his signature no-thought-head-empty tone. He was your regular at the cafe, although he couldn't even drink coffee.

"Hi." He repeated, but to you, "I wanted a coffee." He said, even though you knew he was just lying through his teeth. You knew he couldn't drink any type of coffee.

"Can I have a.." Vernon mumbled, "A mocky-ato. And your number? No? Ok."