MOM: “Welcome to the Memory Objectification Module, or, M-O-M. I am designed to aid you in receiving closure with a lost loved one. Please input your query, and please specify your gender, your loved one’s gender, and if they are older or younger than you. (i.e.: Sibling, Parent, Child, Partner, Cousin, Friend, Pet)”

“Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that MOM is for commercial and entertainment purposes only. It is not a replacement for therapy. Thank you for choosing Hedge Industries.”