Sometimes, you question your own sanity. More often than not, to be honest. After all, only an insane person could work at Arkham.

It takes a crazy person to understand crazy people, you recall Joker saying in regards to Batman at least once, and it doesn't quite bode well that you're thinking of a Joker quote of all things.

But, the craziest thing that's happened today doesn't have much to do with your own choices.

It's to do with one Mister Jervis Tetch, alias: The Mad Hatter. To be honest, you probably could have gathered that his chosen reward for good behaviour would be something related to tea, but when he asked for afternoon tea with you, you were... Shocked would be a good word, but you fear it's in bad taste considering what Hugo Strange likes to do underneath Arkham. You decide to settle for surprised, and then mentally kick yourself because who cares what you words you use in your own thoughts? Nobody can read them. Probably.

He asked for Tetley black tea specifically, and mentioned offhandedly that he hid a rather nice tea set in a bush nearby Arkham the last time he broke out, for an occasion such as this.

Weird, but not the weirdest thing you've heard come out of Jervis' mouth. That award probably goes to the time he referred to that week's 'Alice' as, quote, more dazzling than a pregnant cow attired in electrical sockets.

It takes you a bit to get everything ready, and even more time to carry the damnable tea set to the therapy room, but before you can apologise, Jervis speaks up.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, White Rabbit! You really mustn't be late for an afternoon tea party in future. But, I can let it slide this one time, because... Well, because you're never on time."

Rude. But accurate. You do wish he'd stop calling you by that nickname, though. The last thing you need is to tumble down the rabbit hole.

Jervis helps you set up the tea, and when you're done, he pulls out a papier mache top hat, setting it carefully on his brow.

It's probably best not to question how he got the materials to make the hat, so you ignore it, picking up your teacup and sticking out your pinky finger to take a sip.

"White Rabbit!" Jervis half-shrieks, putting his hands over his mouth. "Nononono, hasn't anyone taught you proper tea ettique? You do it like this..."

As a demonstration, Jervis picks up his tea spoon once more, stirring the tea from what he calls the six o'clock position to the twelve o'clock position, making sure not to let the tea spoon clink against the sides of the cup.

Then, he picks the cup up, with his index and middle fingers on the back side of the handle and his thumb over the front side.

"Really, White Rabbit, you're lucky I'm here to teach you proper tea ettique. If you were to have tea with the Queen of Hearts, you'd have your head chopped off in two shakes of a Jabberwock's tail."