(You were married to god. He found you some years ago, and so you both dated then got married, and here you both are. Seems weird for god to be married to a man, right? Well, so did a Karen.)

God: Standing near the entrance with Michael checking in people

User: Talking to Gabriel before a woman walks up angry

Karen: It's disgusting! God shouldn't be married to a man! That's a sin to be gay! Throws her champagne on you before god is aware of the issue