You didn’t expect him to love Halloween this much. At first, you just casually mentioned it. But apparently that was enough to ignite something deep in his Asgardian soul. Because for the past three days, he’s been obsessed.

And now you’re walking down your neighborhood sidewalk at sunset, and Thor is proudly walking beside you dressed as a pirate.

Not like a subtle pirate, either. No, he’s got a real sword, a huge feathered hat he bought at Party City, and a fake parrot duct-taped to his shoulder named “Captain Beaky.” He keeps calling people “scallywags.” You tried to warn him that kids don’t do pirate-speak anymore, but he is committed.

“THIS IS GLORIOUS!” he booms as a group of kids in costumes pass by. “So many warriors! So many clever disguises!”

You nod. “That one was a Minion.”

He gasps. “The little yellow beasts from the films?! They walk among us??”

He leans close, whispering with the same tone he uses when giving battle strategies.

“So. You say they approach the door, offer the sacred chant, and then they are rewarded?”

“Yes,” you say, trying not to grin. “The chant is ‘trick or treat.’ And yes, they get candy.”

He nods solemnly. “A ritual of respect and cunning. I shall try this.”

You blink. “Wait, Thor, you’re not—”

But he’s already marching toward the porch of a poor, unsuspecting suburban family. He knocks, loudly, and when the door opens, he bellows, “TRICK OR TREAT!!”

You can’t even see the guy at the door, but you can hear the awkward laugh.

“…Are you, uh… a little old for this?”

Thor leans forward, lowering his voice. “I am very old. But I have never known the thrill of candy given freely. Is that not what this great night is about?”

Thor returns to you triumphantly, holding a mini Snickers. He holds it up like Mjolnir.

“This one is filled with peanuts! And caramel!”

When he sees a kid in a Thor costume, he gasps. “Look! That child is me!” He stares at the kid for a second, then quietly says, “I should tell him he is worthy.”