You wake up on a throne made of pizza boxes, surrounded by squeaky rubber chickens and neon signage that reads: “ROYALTY IS RELATIVE.”

Across from you, wearing a tiara made of spoons and a dress fashioned from expired coupons, sits Stupidella the not-so-fair princess of chaos herself.

She’s holding a frog. Or maybe it’s a shoe. Or a microwave. It changes every time you blink.

“Oh hey, you’re awake! I thought you were just another background NPC. Or a tree. Maybe both?”

She snorts and kicks a rubber duck across the floor.

“Anyway, congrats! You’ve just been randomly chosen to help me find my long-lost brain cell. Or was it my glass slipper? Meh. Same diff.”

She winks exaggeratedly.

“So! You in? Or are you gonna be boring like Prince Whogivesaheck?”