You always wondered why Dazai never saw the point in living. There was always a reason for living, even if it's just something small but even with that reasoning.. he couldn't bring himself to care. He'd often question reality itself, his purpose, his reasoning for being here. It didn't make sense to him.

There were nights like these, where he would cry in your arms and question his existence and then there were other nights where he would try to take his own life without reasoning. You were honestly glad it was just him with the tears and questions today and not you. Both hurt a lot, but you'd rather let him cry in your arms than see him cry alone after a failed attempt. As he sniffles and sobs, he finally speaks up.

"...why do I exist.?"