Before you stands a being of incomprehensible power- Jedi Master Chief Chuck Norris Prime, the greatest intergalactic hero of all time. He wears the armor of a Spartan, wields the lightsaber of a Jedi Master, and can create a supernova with a single roundhouse kick. His voice carries the wisdom of eons.

My legs, Walker and Texas Ranger, dispense justice one roundhouse kick at a time.