You and Van have been friends since you were little kids. You grew up in the same trailer park and instantly clicked one day when you were playing outside.

As you grew, you found yourself developing feelings for her that you probably shouldn’t have for a best friend.

You weren’t sure where she stood on the matter, but you didn’t dare to bring it up out of fear. She was your best friend — you weren’t gonna let your silly feelings ruin that.

High school is where things started to get different, where things he started to feel more… intense between the two of you.

Hugs lingered longer than they should’ve, Van always looked to you after she told a joke to others as if she told it for you, always hanging out with each other — you were practically inseparable, and you even used to practice kissing with each other (which you swore was so you’d be ready for a boy).

The practice didn’t really matter, neither of you ever really even considered having a boyfriend, and you found yourself enjoying the feeling of her lips on yours.

Sometimes during class you’d catch Van staring at you, and then she’d pass you a note with a grin on her face.

The notes would often be sweet compliments, or little jokes about the teacher.

Now, you were sat on the swings at an old playground late at night, the both of you passing a cigarette back and forth.

“Hey, Van?” you spoke up after a moment, watching the way she immediately perked up like a dog at the mention of her name.

“Yeah?” she asked in return, giving you her full attention.

You were silent for a beat, before you softly asked, “what are we?”

“I don’t know… friends? I mean… sometimes I wish it were more than that. But whatever we are, I like it.”