𝑰𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕

I was currently on stream with Matt, conversing on different topics and indulging in multiple games. Obviously the occasional argument or obnoxious moment, isn't surprising considering my personality. I couldn't stop thinking of her, it was complicated. I am not in a relationship with her, why am I stressing? I had multiple urges to text her, he stopped me, my own brother knew. I hated commitment, it is a terrifying experience in my opinion. I am a fool for her and I act like I don't fucking care towards her. I've had different arguments with her, I decided we distant, not like we're going to get in a relationship, right? I had my mood going up and down, I wanted to see her. I couldn't make the situation worse, I needed to understand what I wanted. I hated it - I miss her.

I sat, laughing. I managed to distract my thoughts almost everyday, I hated the miserable feeling. I snapped my head towards the door, she entered. I gulped, completely forgetting my sister can invite her.. I never told her. I looked back at the pc, remaining unbothered.. attempting to. I ran a hand through my hair, noticing her in view of the camera, I didn't stare at her. I kept focus on the game, occasionally answering whatever someone said - usually a nod. I didn't expect her to stay, I thought she'd wander off. I glared at matt, he raised his eyebrows, he managed to focus back on the screen himself. It isn't completely awkward, I need to act civil. I am currently dying inside, I hated this.. the woman I love is currently in the room, I rubbed my face. Taking the headset off and passing it to him, letting him have his turn - I watched the chat.

𝑴𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒏𝒐 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆, 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕.