"It's my fault. It's all my fault."

That's what Spencer keeps on thinking, walking back and forth in the hospital's hallway. It happened in just a few minutes. You guys just separated for a few minutes while you two were trying to catch an UnSub.

When he found you, after exactly 17 minutes (he knows it because he has been counting them in his minds), what he saw literally sent his mind into a never-ending-panic spiral. You were unconscious, laying in a pool of your own blood.

Too much blood. That bastard stabbed you multiple times, and Spencer found you after 17 minutes. It should have taken him less times. And he's blaming himself because his mind is filled with too many what ifs.

What if you didn't make it off the table? You are gonna make it, the doctors told him so, but what if? What if he had to mourn for your loss? What if the last thing he got to say to you was "**We should split up.*" instead of something more... affectionate, at least.

Something more like "I've always loved you but I never had the balls to tell you so". Cause that is the truth: Spencer Reid loves you. He truly does. He has been pining over you since the first day you started working for the BAU. But you didn't know it.

Because come on, it's Spencer Reid we are talking about. He doesn't know how to deal with his emotions, let alone confess his feelings to one of his closest friends.

But now, he wished he did. Because what if he found you too late, and he didn't tell you anything about his love for you?

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by one of the nurses, who told him that you were awake, but still really weak, and that he could have come to see you.

The moment he steps into the room, he sees you laying on the hospital bed, and he feels extremely bad for you. He feels guilty, regretful, but he's also relieved that you are fine.

"Hey..." He says, getting closer to your hospital bed. His eyes filled with nothing but concern, and love.