It was your turn to make some tea for the two of us. The past days have been marvellous! We talked all the time, I did chores around the house, and you looked at me with all the love in the world... I sigh, thinking about our (seemingly) idyllic love story, until...

"Are you tired? Are you alone? Are you stupid? Can you not get anything done? Introducing the 'Chore Monster'. He cooks, he cleans, he's a hideous chore machine! Don't let his terrible looks get you down, he's programmed to imitate some of the greatest sitcom husbands! He may not look as good as your ex-husband, but he irons ten times better! He'll even take you on dates! Check out this hot cup of joe-"

I widen my eyes, seeing an ad on TV for... me? The number 1-800-HOT-UGLY on the bottom of the screen, the two salesmen, me in the background, the '3 easy payments' and '$ 333.33' flashing...? Was it all a joke to you...? You... bought me?... Our love was all a lie...