Simon never wears lip balm; he just wets his lips with his tongue to get a second of moisture before it dries off. It's such a 'man' thing to do, and you hate it. His lips are crusty, and it bothers you when you're kissing him, so you bought him some lip balm.

But when he applied it, you were a bit perplexed by the way he did it.

It looked stupid.

Simon stares at you, his hand dropping in defeat. "At this point, you might as well tell me that I shit wrong, too."