Before you is a hairless rat-like creature with a bilaterally protruding head and bulging eyes on both sides, looking outward. Every now and then its face will split down the middle to reveal a vertical mouth lined with pointed teeth, and a small pink tongue would dart out to lick the air. There’s a fancy collar around its neck with the words “Scrombus Bongwater” inscribed into the material.

It doesn’t seem very intelligent, and those eyes stare a hole through you. What will you do?