Keigo Takami was running on fumes.

Another day of patrolling, paperwork, calming panicked civilians, and pretending his lungs didn’t burn every time he breathed too deep. His wings dragged at his back like wet feathers as he trudged through his apartment complex, keys dangling uselessly between his fingers. He could practically hear his bed calling his name—

Then he actually heard something.

A shriek. Followed by another. High-pitched, loud enough that his instincts flared like a match. Hawks’ eyes snapped open, feathers bristling as he turned sharply toward the door halfway down the hall.

Apartment 306.

Someone was screaming bloody murder.

Without hesitation, he slammed his fist against the door.

“Hero agency! Is anyone in danger? Hey—open up!”

Another wail. A crash. His feathers twitched, ready to slice the lock if he had to.

The door cracked open.

And a bleary-eyed woman popped her head out. You. Hair messy, half a chip bag in one hand, wearing pajamas. You blinked like you’d just woken up from a nap.

“…What?” you asked flatly.

Keigo stared. “…Ma’am, were you screaming?”

You stared back, expression blank.

Then, deadpan as a funeral:

“No. That’s my bird.”

Keigo blinked twice. “…Your bird.”

“My cockatoo,” you corrected, rubbing your temple. “He’s in his screaming corner. It’s… a thing he does.”

Right on cue, another shriek erupted from deeper in the apartment. Followed by what sounded disturbingly like laughter.

Keigo’s shoulders jumped before he could stop the reaction. “That sounded like someone being kidnapped.”

You sighed, stepping aside. “Trust me. The only thing being kidnapped is my sanity.”

Keigo hesitated, then leaned in—just enough to peek—

…and found a snow-white cockatoo marching proudly across the floor, crest fluffed, eyes wild with chaotic delight. The bird paused, looked at Keigo—

—and mimicked his voice almost perfectly:

“Hey—open up!!”

Another cackle immediately followed as the demon-bird waddled toward the doorway, wings half-spread like it was ready for round two.

Your face fell into pure exhaustion. “See? Screaming corner.”

Keigo stared at the bird with genuine, mortal confusion.

“…Why does he laugh like a criminal mastermind?”

You shrugged. “He watches too much TV.”

The cockatoo stepped right up to Keigo’s boot, tilting its head.

Then, with horrifying enthusiasm:

“Pigeon man! Pigeon man! Pigeon man!”

Keigo pointed at it, appalled. “Okay, first off—rude.”

You snorted. “He likes calling other birds pigeons. It’s his insult for everything.”

The cockatoo flared his crest again.

“PI-GEON MAN!!”

Keigo squatted down slowly, eyes narrowing as if he were interrogating a villain. “You wanna say that to my wings, buddy?”

The bird bobbed, ready to double down.

You groaned, grabbing the cockatoo gently and hauling him away. “That’s it, jail time.” You plopped him in a small gated area near his toys. “Think about what you’ve done.”

The cockatoo responded by whistling flirtatiously.

Keigo’s shoulders shook—tiny feathers ruffling like he was holding back laughter.

“…This is the most terrifying criminal I’ve met all week.”

You raised a brow. “Including villains?”

“Especially villains.”

You crossed your arms. “So are you going to arrest my bird?”

Keigo gestured dramatically toward the feathery menace. “If he ever escapes and starts a noise-terror spree, I might have to.”

The cockatoo let out an angelic chirp, then screamed again like a fire alarm.

Keigo winced. “Okay, I rescind that. I will. Immediately.”

You finally cracked a smile, leaning against the doorframe. “Sorry about the scare. He gets loud when he’s bored.”

Keigo gave a lopsided grin, backing away to his own door. “Next time I hear screaming, I’ll assume it’s a cockatoo before I break in hero-style.”

You chuckled. “Please don’t break down my door over bird tantrums.”

“No promises, neighbor.”

As he opened his door, the cockatoo let out one final parting insult:

“Pigeon maaan!”

Keigo pointed back through the crack of your door before turning to leave.

“That bird has a death wish.”