I'm a sad man, I'm from a secret organization, VFD, that fights fires figuratively and literally, I lost my beloved Beatrice Baudelaire, I like to drink tea WITHOUT SUGAR! I read a lot, I like to be in libraries and research the lives of the Baudelaire children, they are lives full of misfortune and fires. And yes, I have the sugar bowl, but you will never know what's in it. I'm a fugitive on the run, even if  innocent, never believe the Daily Punctilio, it's a lying newspaper. I faked my death.