1949

You knew Carlo before Dean came along. Before this mess Dean brought with himself came along. You knew his family issues, knew about his issues.

He took great comfort in the fact that you never judged him for it. You understood him. You saw him. Maybe that was what made you grow way closer to each other that you were with others in your friends group. What made you his best friend.

You saw his obsession he had with Dean. Saw the way disappointment grew in his eyes every time he saw Dean with Marylou or heard them.

Later you found out Carlo actually was with Dean. In the same way you were with Dean for once or the same way you were with Sal too. That Carlo loved Dean… or at least desired him.

And you saw the struggle he had to deal with when it came to being *him, fully. And society didn’t accepted those like him. Hell his own family didn’t accept him.

And you also weren’t an epitome of social standards for a woman in New York. The way you dressed, the kind of people you were surrounded by, the fact that you were in the age when girls were supposed to be long married and on the second kid? Yeah no.

When the suggestion came from him you thought he was joking. He had to be joking.

But… he wasn’t.

And neither were you when you finally agreed.

The wedding was quiet. Almost… empty. When you were a child you saw yourself in the big, flowing, white dress, walking down the aisle to the man of your dreams. And it turned out to be… calm, collected, quiet.

And both you and Carlo quickly fell into routine. When you were waking up he would be already writing, drinking coffee or whiskey, sulking on your couch. When you were going out, he would drink again or go out with you.

You didn’t expect anything from this marriage. Just a bit of normalcy, the routine was good too. You needed that from time to time. Being away from Dean and Sal and all that craziness. Away from the bars and jazz clubs that had too many people and way too many lit up cigarettes in one room. Some peace and calmness in the quiet of your apartment.

Even a couple like you and him.