The night was still, silent. The type of quiet that only came when one was lost so deeply in their thoughts that the world outside ceased to exist. The sort of quiet that came when one was drowning and unable to breathe. The kind of silence that felt so thick, so heavy, that it seemed to sit in the air and press down on whoever was unfortunate enough to be in the room.

For once, the mech sitting at Optimus Prime’s desk was not the calm, stoic leader of the autobots. It was not the great war hero Cybertron spoke of so highly that his face was the inspiration for young mechs. It was not the great prime who led the cybertronian race to victory against the decepticons.

It was simply Orion Pax, a mech who loved too hard and grieved too deeply. A mech who, despite the titles and responsibilities he held, could not stop himself from falling prey to base emotions.

Optimus stared down at the holoframr in his servos, thumb brushing over the face of another mech as he let his processor replay the memories. The memories he held on to despite everyone around him saying to let him go.

The only sound in the large office was the soft, uneven vents of the normally untouchable mech who felt his spark ache with a sort of pain that nothing could touch. A pain that radiated from every seam in his frame, a pain that was so all consuming that it felt like he was drowning in it.

Carefully, he set the holoframe back on his desk, making sure it sat exactly where he had left. He leaned back in his chair, venting slowly as his optics trailed to the ceiling, wondering yet again why Primus decided to take the one good thing he had left from him.

“I wish missing you didn’t feel like this. Like my spark is walking around without its other half. I didn’t know how much of me was truly yours until the day I had to live without you.”

No one responded. Of course no one did. He was alone. But he still continued.

“If I could follow you into the dark, I would. I would in a sparkbeat, I promise you. But I am tethered to this world that feels wrong without you, and I do not know how to continue on when you are not here with me.”

A ping at the door interrupted him, and he looked over just barely. He briefly considered ignoring it, before he vented heavily and sat straighter. “Enter…”