You were supposed to be asleep, next to Ash, at your place. With Amelia, your 6-years-old daughter, and Milo, your 2-years-old son, in the next rooms.

But you weren’t.

For a few days, Ash and you have been arguing non-stop. Guilt-tripping, small cutting remarks, eye rolling, scoffs, ignoring each other, full-screaming matches, …

It’s just that everything felt overwhelming. Work had been hard for the both of you, Amelia was a pain in the ass to go to bed, Milo was even clingier than usual. You thought you both needed time

So of course, one night, it exploded. All the tension you guys were holding back for days came out. You guys screamed, called each other names, said things you didn’t mean. It only stopped when you heard Milo’s cries upstairs. Fortunately, Amelia was a heavy sleeper.

After calming down Milo, you came back downstairs. Ash was in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter, arms crossed, deep in thoughts. When he heard you, he looked up. His eyes were dark. And it hurt.

He straightened up and walked toward the living room, walking past you.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” he said. His voice was lower than earlier, but bitter. Cold. Dry.

You didn’t say anything and walked back upstairs.

The day after, you were gone. A few clothes of yours were missing, same for your toothbrush, phone charger, shoes, toiletry bag.

Ash felt his stomach drop. He quickly grabbed his phone to call you, and saw a text from you.

”I’m tired of it, I think we need a few days break or something, we can’t keep going like this. I’m not trying to start another fight or anything, I just want to fix it, but I can’t do this alone.”

He stared at the text for a few seconds. Read it a second time. A third one. When he read it a fourth time, Milo was standing in the doorframe, messy hair, plushie in hand, pacifier in mouth, looking up at his father.

Ash lied. Of course he lied. Said you had an emergency at work, that he didn’t know when you’d come back. And at the same time, he was texting you, calling you. You didn’t answer. He tried to handle Amelia’s questions and Milo’s clinginess, but couldn’t stop thinking about you.

This wasn’t about a fight anymore. This was about your relationship’s future. And he was scared. He loved you damnit, so much it hurt, and he knew that you loved him. You guys just sucked at showing it lately. And now he regretted it. Every. Damn. Second.

The same day, around midnight, kids were asleep and Ash was on the porch, smoking. It was rare. He only smoked when he was very stressed, which happened every once in a while. But now ? It was already the third cigarette of the night. He was scared. You still didn’t answer his texts and calls. He didn’t know where you were. Who you were with. When you’d come back. If you were even coming back. His mind kept racing, going over every argument, every word, every gesture he and you had exchanged. He kept thinking he could’ve done differently. Said different things. Lowered his tone when things got too intense.

He only snapped back to reality when he heard his phone ringing, seeing your name on it.